Harry Potter Misplaces His Brain
by LariaKaiba
Summary: It was a normal day at Hogwarts until a certain famous boy named Harry Potter misplaces his brain. Will Hermione ever find it? Only one thing can ensue from all this... Insanity.
1. Harry Potter Misplaces His Brain

**---I've got a special treat for you all!**

**In light of the sixth book of Harry Potter coming out, I have decided to repost this little gem that's been collecting dust on my computer.**

**This was on before… but was taken down for script formatting. **

**But it's back, and better then ever. Reformatted to abide by the rules and rewritten to capture its insanity to the fullest, I'm sure you'll all find that this is a must read. **

**Enough of me, let's get on with the story!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. ---**

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**Chapter One:  
****Harry Potter Misplaces His Brain**

One day at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry…

Harry Potter was late to class. He had been in the common room at Gryffindor Tower when he had misplaced his brain. Hermione had stayed behind as well to help him look for it. So far, it was not going well.

"Please tell me how it's possible to lose your brain, Harry," Hermione said crossly to 'The Boy Who Lived' as he walked aimlessly around the room.

"What's a Harry?" he asked, walking into a wall.

"OH PLEASE!" Hermione said exasperated at her currently brainless friend.

"What's a please?" Harry asked again, "Aren't they the guys in blue uniforms?"

"No," Hermione said impatiently, looking harder now for the missing brain, hoping to stop the insanity, "Those are police!"

"What's a police?"

Around this time Hermione got so fed up with Harry's stupidity she smacked him. Ron, wondering why his friends had not came to class, walked into the room just in time to see Hermione smack Harry.

"STOP BEING SO STUPID!" Hermione yelled, smacking Harry again.

"Hermione, why are you hitting Harry?" Ron asked.

"Because he lost his brain again," Hermione said, hitting Harry once again.

"Who's Brain?" Harry asked, unfazed but the beating he had been receiving from Hermione, "Is he in our Potions class?"

"No, that's Brian!" Hermione sighed, continuing her search.

"There's not a Brian in Potions class," Ron said, "Is there?"

"What's a potion?"

"FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!" Hermione screamed.

Will Harry ever find his brain? Will Ron ever find out if there really is a Brian in there potion class? Will we find out why Hermione puts up with these losers? Tune in next time to find out!

**To Be Continued...**


	2. Harry Finds his Brain

**---Hmm… not to bad for a first chapter… better then I thought at least.**

**Just so everyone knows, this story isn't meant to bash Harry Potter, just to laugh at it. I love the Harry Potter books to death. ---**

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**Chapter Two:  
****Harry Finds his Brain**

That same day at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry…

Harry Potter was still looking for him brain. He was looking everywhere he could think of. Well… everywhere Hermione could think of, since he obviously still has no brain at this point. Anyway…

"Look under that table," Hermione said to Harry.

"What a table?" Harry asked, even though he was standing right next to it.

"That big wooden circular thing!" Hermione yelled.

"What's circular?"

"Ggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!" Hermione growled.

Hermione really needed to take a Chill Pill at this point.

"What's Ggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr?" Harry asked.

"Never mind," Hermione sighed, knowing she'd never get anywhere with the brainless Harry. He glanced over to the other side of the room and nearly burst with excitement, "There it is! Your brain!"

"What's a brain?"

However, before Hermione could answer the question she was already shoving Harry's brain back into his head. Then she beat him senseless for being stupid enough to lose it in the first place.

"For the love of god Hermione," Harry said once she was done beating him, "What was that for?"

"FOR BEING STUPID ENOUGH TO LOSE YOU'RE BRAIN!" Hermione screamed.

"Gosh Hermione, you don't have to yell!" Harry said, "I can hear you know!"

At this moment Ron, who had mysteriously left, returned to find that Hermione had beaten the crap out of Harry.

"Hermione, what did you do that for?" Ron asked.

"Harry lost his brain so I beat him," she shrugged. Harry glared at her, it wasn't his fault he misplaced it.

All of a sudden, Ron's brain decides to run away.

"Ron, your brain is too small," Hermione said.

"What?" Ron asked stupidly.

"Ggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!"

"What's Ggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr?"

"Not again!"

Oh no, it seems now Ron has lost his brain! What is Hermione going to do now! And what ever happened to Brian form potions class? Tune in next time to find out!

**To Be Continued...**


	3. Brian From Potions

**---And today's grand prize winner is Windy Bakura! Why yes! This story has no point! The points don't matter! Oh wait… wrong story… Hehehe**

**Everyone seems very keen on knowing who this "Brian, from Potions Class" is. **

**Oh the insanity continues!****---**

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**Chapter Three:  
****Brian from Potions**

Last time on Harry Potter Misplaces his Brain…

Harry found his brain; Hermione beat the crap of him for losing it in the first place and Ron lost his brain. Now back to the story...

"Hermione I don't think we'll ever find his brain," Harry said, both he and Hermione were looking for Ron's brain, "It's too small."

"What's a small?" Ron asked, tripping over something and falling to the ground.

"WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE SO STUPID?" Hermione yelled, smacking Ron as he got to his feet.

"Hermione, you don't have to be so aggressive," Harry said, trying to calm Hermione down.

However, Hermione had every reason to be aggressive; considering this was the second time she had to deal with the brainless.

"What's a Hermione?" asked Ron.

"Can I kill him now?" Hermione growled to Harry.

"Kill him after we find his brain would ya?"

"Who's brain?" Ron asked, "The one from Potions?"

"THAT'S BRIAN!" Hermione shrieked, smacking Ron again.

At that moment, Brian, from Potions class, stepped into the Common Room.

"You called?"

"We don't have a Brian in Potions class," Harry said coolly, glaring at Brian.

"What's a potion?" asked Ron. By now, Harry was getting annoyed with his extra stupidity.

"These people are scaring me," Brain said, looking up at the Authoress, "Can I go now?"

_Yes, you can leave._

"Great!" Brain said running away.

_Back to finding Ron's brain._

"Have you checked under that chair?" Hermione asked, as if nothing had happened.

"Yes, twice!"

"What's a chair?" Ron asked, falling over said chair.

"STAY IN ONE SPOT SO YOU DON'T HURT YOURSELF!" Harry yelled, smacking Ron before he even had a chance to get up.

"Harry," Hermione huffed, "You complained about me!"

"Who's hairy?"

"HARRY!" Harry yelled, "Not—oh never mind."

"Look over there!" Hermione exclaimed.

"Where?" asked Harry.

"What a t—"

Harry smacked Ron before he could finish his question.

"I found his brain," said Hermione.

"I thought I was done with this story," said Brian, from Potions class.

"Brain!" yelled Harry, "Not Brian!"

"Oh," Brian said, leaving again.

At once, Hermione picked up Ron's brain and shoved it back in his head.

"And don't you lose it again!" Hermione warned, "Either of you!"

And then Brian loses his brain.

"I'll deal with this," Harry growled, going off to find Brian and beats the crap out of him.

_Harry I was only kidding!_

"I don't think he cares…" Ron said.

Well now that Harry and Ron both have there brains back it's time for this story to finally come to an end.

**THE END?**


	4. Brian's Chapter

**---What? Did you all think I would end it that short?**

**Well, HA! YOU'LL ALL WRONG!**

**I have so much more! … Ok maybe "much more" isn't the right word for it. But I do, however, have more chapters.**

**By the way, this is my most favorite chapter in this story. THE GREATEST! ---**

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**Chapter Four:  
****Brian's Chapter**

Laria Kaiba stood in the vast white nothingness of No Where. Dressed in normal Hogwarts school clothes and a cloak that proudly portrayed the Hufflepuff crest, she held in her hand her Notebook, a powerful tool that gave her complete control over the characters in the story.

"Ok, you asked for it," Laria said with the most evil of grins, "Well, actually Funkyfidget asked for it a long time ago. He asked me to give Brian his own story. Well, I can't. But I can give him his own chapter—"

"Why?" Harry asked indignantly, appearing out of thin air next to the Authoress, "He doesn't have anything to do with _'Harry Potter'_!"

"Do I need to teach you a lesson about my almighty Authoress powers," Laria said bitterly, annoyed by the fact that Harry had interrupted her, "Like I did for the entire Yu-Gi-Oh cast?"

"Like how?" Harry asked skeptically.

"Hey, when do I come in?" Brian asked, appearing on the other side of Laria.

"Never," Harry muttered angrily.

"I thought this was all about me," Brian said confused.

"It is," Laria reassured, "Harry's just jealous because he's not in the spot light for once."

"I am not jealous of that idiot!" Harry yelled.

"IDIOT?"

"You heard me!"

"Alright, ladies, break it up," Laria glared at the two, "Before I turn you both into Flobberworms."

Harry _'eeped'_ at the thought of becoming something as low as a Flobberworm, but Brian however had a better idea.

"Can't you just turn Potter into a Flobberworm and make the world a better place?"

"And leave Voldy free to terrorize the world?" Laria gasped.

"Why not?"

"Sounds good to me," Laria shrugged, taking out her wand.

All of a sudden Hermione appeared.

"Tisk, tisk," she said shaking a finger at the Authoress, "You're not allowed to do magic outside of school."

And, as fast as she had come, she was gone.

"Well that was strange," Brian said, staring at the spot that had, just seconds ago, held Hermione.

"It happens all the time," Laria said putting her wand away, "Get used to it."

"Now what are you going to do eh?" Harry said with a laugh, "Miss I'm-The-Best-Authoress-Fear-My- Powers-Or-I-Will-Turn-You-Into-A-Flobberworm."

"Ooo you're asking for it now," Laria said threateningly, glaring at Harry intently.

"Run Potter," Brian muttered to him.

"Stop calling me _'Potter'_!"

"Why should I?"

"Because I said so!"

And while those two were quarrelling, Laria was writing in her Notebook. She closed the Notebook and put it away. Neither of the boys noticed this because they were now physically fighting. Laria looked over at them rolling around on the ground.

"Alright ladies, break it up or you'll face the consequences," Laria warned, but the fighting kept on. Laria sighed and snapped her fingers, Harry turned into a Flobberworm, but Brian did not.

"Where'd that son-of-a-one-eyed- prairie-dog go?" Brian asked, finally noticing that something was wrong.

"He's a Flobberworm!" Laria exclaimed, "Quick, find him!"

Brian looked around.

"Uhh…"

"What is it?"

"…I found him…"

Nice close up shot of a squished Flobberworm.

"Oh my god! You killed Harry!"

All of a sudden, a group of Munchkins from the _Wizard of Oz_ appeared singing, _'Ding Dong the Witch is Dead'_

Brian stared at the Munchkins with a frightened look on his face, Dead Flobberworm Harry just lay lifelessly on the ground, and Laria growled.

"Hey short people!" Laria yelled, despite the fact that she was nearly as short as the Munchkins, "He was a wizard, and he was good."

All the Munchkins stop singing, look at each other and disappear.

"Jeez," Laria glowered, "That was disturbing…"

"What about Potter?" Brian asked, examining the dead remains of _'The Boy Who Lived'._

"Oh yeah," Laria said, breaking out into wails of fake sorrow, "Oh no, Harry Potter is dead! Whatever shall we do?"

At that moment Lord Voldemort appeared.

"Laria!" Brian gasped, "It's the Dark Lord!"

"What is thy bidding, my master," Laria said in a Darth Vader like voice, bowing to Voldemort.

"Who killed the boy?"

Laria looked up at Voldemort and pointed over to Brian. The Dark Lord swept passed the Authoress and over to Brian, who looked terrified. Voldemort took out his wand. Brian wanted to run but was his fear prevented him from doing so. Then, before he even knew what was going on, Voldemort had branded him with the Dark Mark.

"Hey cool!" Brian said looking down at his arm, "I'm a Death Eater!"

"That's so boring," Laria said rolling her eyes, "Let me fix it!"

Laria took her notebook out again and wrote something down, then put it away. Snapping her fingers, Christmas lights appear on the Dark Mark. They started to blink and play _'Jingle Bells'_.

"What have you don't to it!" Voldemort said, looking appalled at the new Dark Mark.

"I fixed it!" Laria said with a grin.

"Unfix it!" Brian shrieked, "Unfix it!"

"Fine," Laria said downheartedly, she snapped her fingers and the Dark Mark returned to normal. "Well, now that Harry's dead, I guess it's time to finish this chapter."

"It's over?" Brian asked sadly, "Already?"

"All good things must come to an end," said Laria.

"Who said with was good?"

**THE END?**


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